Airplanes in the Night Sky
by Morganperidot
Summary: This is a Jolie John and Natalie romance story that occurs after Marty's miscarriage.


Airplanes in the Night Sky

By niki822

Natalie was lying on her bed looking at the ceiling of her bedroom at Llanfair. It was late, but she couldn't sleep. All she could see when she closed her eyes was the look in John's eyes when he had asked her if she pushed Marty down the hospital stairs and caused the death of their child. It had been a look of disgust, anger, and maybe a bit of betrayal, and it was clear to Natalie that he had thought it possible. He had thought her capable of not only wanting his child dead but also of taking the steps to make that happen. That John could think that, that he could believe it, hurt Natalie at her very core. It was something she would have never thought he could do, regardless of how far they might have drifted apart over the years and no matter whom else they had become involved with. She had thought John knew her, knew who she truly was, but in the end, when the truth was laid bare, it seemed that he hardly knew her at all.

Deciding that she wouldn't be falling asleep any time soon, Natalie slipped a furry blue robe over the teal pajama top and pants she had worn to bed. It was mid spring, but there was still a chill in the air that matched the one in her blood. She went down the stairs, through the drawing room, and out the back doors of the house. She looked up at the night sky; it was clear with no stars to be seen. The moon was in an awkward crescent between barely being there and not being there at all. Natalie thought about her feelings for John and how those feelings had suddenly resurfaced, giving her a renewed sense of joy and hope. Kissing John again and having him tell her about the feelings he'd always had for her – those things had filled her up again when she had thought nothing else would after losing Jared. Her connection with John had felt like it always had, like they were meant to be together, like they fit together. It had been so easy for her to start believing that this was something predestined, that they would find each other again and resume the relationship they had once had. It had seemed like Marty and the baby were just unnecessary obstacles to that, to her meant-to-be love with John. It was true that Natalie had been angry about that, about Marty and the baby being in the way. If Marty had simply disappeared, left town of her own choice, Natalie would have been thrilled. She wanted John enough to not care if it hurt Marty's feelings or destroyed Marty's plans for the future.

But Natalie did not want to be with John enough to physically hurt Marty, and she would never do anything to harm a child, not even one that kept her from John, especially since that child was half John's, his flesh and blood, his heir. She would never have done what John believed she could, not for him, not for anything. That he didn't know that, that was something she could never accept. She knew at that point that there would be no future for the two of them. If he apologized she might be able to forgive him, but she would never be able to trust him again.

Natalie felt a tear slide down her cheek, but she quickly brushed it away. She thought: This is really how things were meant to be, the two of us apart, living separate lives. For her, there wasn't going to be any white knight to ride in and carry her off to their eternal happily ever after. She sighed and turned to go back inside. The sound of a plane crossing overhead made her turn, and she remembered the hook of a song she had heard:

_Can we pretend that airplanes in the night sky are like shooting stars?_

_I could really use a wish right now, wish right now, wish right now._

Yeah, I could use a wish that would come true for once, Natalie thought. But what would she wish for? To have Jared back? To have a life that made sense without a man at her side? To have a career that didn't reach a dead end? No, she knew what she would wish for. She wanted more than anything for the ache of what John had said and how he had looked at her to go away. But the wish she finally decided on was not for her but for him. She looked in the direction that plane had gone and said, "Let him find peace."

_And it seems like yesterday it was just a dream, but those days are gone, just memories…_

With that Natalie turned and went back into the house. She was finally feeling tired, and she thought she finally might be able to get some sleep. But when she got to the foot of the stairs she heard a knock at the front door. She stood there for a moment looking at the door and questioned herself internally about whether it would be a wise idea to open it so late. The knocking persisted, and finally she decided to go ahead and open it.

Natalie pulled the door open enough to see who was on the other side…and was surprised to find John standing there in jeans and black shirt and jacket. She pulled the door open a bit more. "John?" she said. "What are you doing here?"

"I needed to see you," John said in his soft tones.

Natalie stepped aside and let him in before closing the door behind him. "How did you know I'd be awake?" she asked. John didn't answer; he just kept walking through the foyer and into the drawing room. Natalie followed him, and then closed those doors as well. "What's going on, John?" she asked.

He still didn't speak, just walked around the room silently. Natalie stood by the doors watching him, waiting for him to say something. In light of what had happened between them earlier, she had no idea what that might be. Were there more questions he wanted to ask about what she was doing when Marty fell or about what she had said to Marty at the coffee shop? It seemed like everything that needed to be said had been said, unless he was there on official business…

"If you're here to arrest me, I'd like to go upstairs and change," Natalie said.

"That's not why I'm here," John said. Across the room he stopped walking and stood with his back to her.

"Then why are you here?" Natalie said. "I've already told you everything that I know about…"

"I can't do this," John said, cutting her off but not continuing.

Something in his tone, more than the words themselves, compelled Natalie to take a few steps closer to him. There was pain there, real, honest pain – the kind he very rarely showed. "I don't understand," she said, softening her own tone.

John still didn't look at her when he spoke again. "What I said earlier – I'm not thinking straight," he said. "I know that as much as you might want…I know you wouldn't have done that." Natalie walked over to him. "I'm angry with myself," he said. "It was my fault."

"You weren't even there…"

"That's just it," John said. He turned then, and she saw the depth of the pain in his eyes. "I should have been there. I should have been with her. I should have been protecting her and the child. But I wasn't."

Without thinking too much about it, Natalie slid her arms around him and embraced him. But she was conflicted; why was he there telling her this? Why wasn't he talking with Marty about it? She felt his hands press against her back and push her closer into his warmth. She closed her eyes for a moment and shut out her thoughts, just drinking in the sensations. But she knew better than to misinterpret whatever this was. "You need to talk with Marty, John," she said.

"I don't love her," John said. "I wanted to, and I tried to. But I don't." He looked away. "I wanted the baby though," he said. "I wanted my child."

"Of course you did," Natalie said. "I'm sure Marty knows that." She didn't know what to think or say about his confession about not loving Marty; it was possible that he was just so upset about losing the child that he didn't know what he was feeling.

John looked at her, really looked at her, and Natalie felt all of the lies she had built around them crumbling. He drew her into his arms again and brought his lips to hers in a kiss that began softly and then opened and deepened. Surprised at first, it took Natalie a moment to catch up to the pace, but she did, meeting his quiet passion with hers until she had to pull away before they both caught fire. "You have to talk to Marty," she said.

"I can't do that now," John said. He touched her face and her hair, and Natalie didn't want him to stop. "It's too soon."

"Then I can't be with you," Natalie said, "not like this." As much as it hurt to do so, she took a couple steps back from him.

He said nothing, just looked away. "Right," he said. "I'm sorry – about before and about this. I shouldn't have come here."

"That isn't what I meant…"

John just walked to the doors and pulled them open. Natalie watched as he walked through the foyer and out the door without another word or glance, and she stood there for almost a minute more just wondering what to do next. Finally she walked through the foyer to the front door and opened it. John was standing there in the clear dark night, leaning against the building. Natalie stepped out beside him, and in that moment another plane flew by overhead.

_I could really use a wish right now, wish right now, wish right now…_

"I want to be with you, John," Natalie said.

"I know," he said.

"We just need to work this out," Natalie said.

John looked at her. "I hope that happens," he said quietly. He walked over to her and moved her long red hair away from her face before lifting her chin and kissing her lips softly and briefly. "Good night, Natalie," he said. He held her gaze for a moment longer and then turned and walked away.


End file.
